SOOO, today I had this splendid (note sarcasm) idea to take a drive up into the mountains. It was a beautiful day, my husband had been aching to go hiking and I didn't want to be in the house all day. So it was a good idea right.
Off we went, or maybe I should say, up we went. The views and the scenery were indescribable. The first hour and half was great. We took lots of pictures, got out and hiked up some hills, took some more pictures, ate some snacks, laughed, took more pictures, put the kids and the dog back in the car and kept going up.
Then the safety net of the massive pine trees lining the road started to disappear exposing the cliffs we were driving so close to, the road got narrow and very bumpy, and it started snowing! I panicked. I'm not kidding.
My stress level went through the roof and all the sudden my husband could do nothing right. I was uncomfortable, feeling out of control, agitated, unsafe, and I just wanted to go home. I wanted to be somewhere that looked familiar. I wanted to be able to have my feet on solid ground that was not 9000ft in the air. I wanted to be in control.
The road was only going higher and the end of the road was no where in sight. Literally, I could see the road and it was still going up and around the mountain. I kept telling my husband you have got to slow down, you are going too fast, slow down. Are you sure this road will lead us out to the highway and back home soon? I don't think it is going to. Did you make sure? Slow down, slow down. Let's just turn around.
My husband grabbed my hand and said, just trust me Ali. I can't go any slower or we won't make it up the mountain. I'm going as slow as I can. It will take us even longer to turn around and go back the way we came at this point. Just trust me, I love you.
Sound familiar? Isn't this how it goes in our walk with our Savior at times? Things are going well, you're going on a new journey, you're traveling up the mountain and the sights are beautiful and your laughing and talking and making memories. Then the conditions start to change. The situation gets uncomfortable, scary, and you start to feel out of place and out of control. You start to panic and worry. You forget about the beautiful trees and mountains that are all around and you start to focus on what isn't yours to worry about. You start to question if this will ever end, why you came in the first place, and how continuing could be of any relevance.
I know that this has been the case in my walk with Christ at many points in my life. Let me tell you what I've learned from it.
Panicking and worrying are a lot easier then staying calm and trusting. If you shut your mouth long enough you will feel your maker and creator reach over and grab your hand and whisper in your heart, "Just trust me. We can't turn back now, we've come too far. I haven't given you anymore then you can handle. I love you, just trust me."
I'm so thankful that my husband is steadfast in his love for Christ and he spoke the words of truth into my life today. I'm even more thankful that the difference between my over dramatic, freak out today and a relationship with God is that God is always sure of the outcome.
He knows the future, the past, the present and everything I need, want, and don't have to make it through this life. I'm thankful that he is the Beginning and the End and everything in between. I'm thankful that unlike man he never changes. I'm thankful his love is unconditional and steadfast. I'm thankful that he has not given me the spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. Most of all, I'm thankful he never gives up on me.
We made it out of the mountains today. (Surprise, I know) In one of the little towns we went through on the way back home we found this super cute, little maw and pop restaurant that served me the best country fried steak that I've ever tasted. Wouldn't you know if I had forced my husband to turn around, I would have missed out on that tasty blessing. I also would have being feeling a lot of disappointment, tension, and guilt on top of my panic.
God always knows whats best. Always. He is worth trusting no matter the cost. The blessing will out weigh the discomfort every time. And if your lucky enough to be married to a Godly man like me, then you're always blessed!
